In moving this blog to be more lifestyle based and more about me as a person than just makeup and fashion I am going to combine one of my old blogs “Forever the Single Girl” and start to publish it here.
A lot has changed since the last post and it became very hard to continue writing on that blog because of a number of reasons. First, it didn’t feel like me anymore; maturity and becoming a 20-something rather than a teenager made my voice change. Attitude not so much but the blog no longer felt right with me.
It felt hard to post and I didn’t post anything since April 2015 and I had very large gaps in the blog when I simply couldn’t blog anymore. Part of this reason was people, who I knew personally, took it upon themselves to call me out on things being discussed in the blog. These were my ‘Christian’ friends who needed to learn that judging people is God’s job and not their own.
I had one girl invite me to coffee because she said she wanted to start her own blog and wanted tips but then it turned into her saying that my attitude towards relationships, sex and feminism is not Christian and I should change my views to be more like hers.
This was not an isolated incident. People I hadn’t spoken to in years messaged me essentially calling me a slut. A guy using the ‘we are brothers and sisters in Christ’ excuse to say that I was un-Christian in how I think about feminism and women’s rights. There were many others.
So for this reason, it became harder to post things to that blog because of what had been said to me. I have eight drafts of posts that I didn’t want to put up because I was afraid of the reproductions of what people may say about me.
So if you want to read the entire blog you can and find it here.
I am going to cherry pick the most relevant part of this blog out so I can start afresh here.
I don’t want to be afraid to write. I want to write the things that mean something to me. I don’t want people judging me for what I believe in, oh wait, that will never happen. So fuck them!
I am Vicki Evans. I have never been out on a date, or a had a relationship. I have never had sex. I have never had my love for someone reciprocated. It was only a few weeks ago that I had my first kiss, which was four days after my 22nd birthday. Status: terminally single.
I hate that there is a pressure to be in a relationship. I always have the “are you seeing someone?” question thrown at me and it is normally responded by laughing or being offended. Well, not actually offended just a defence mechanism I learnt a long time ago.
People think that I have missed out on so much by not being in a relationship or dating people but that has never been me. I have never been the girl in the relationship or who goes on dates or even falls in love. Okay, I do that last one a bit but it is unrequited so much that I just don’t bother anymore.
I know this may make me sound like a lonely sad case but, to be honest, daily it doesn’t bother me at all. I would more rather spend my time creating a life for myself than wait around for some person to show up in my life and make my life happy and filled with love.
This is something that a lot of the anti-feminists I know say to me that I need a man in my life because I need someone to take care of me. I take care of myself. I am the only one that I can 100% rely on and depend on to be there for me.
I am not going to sit around a wait for my life to begin as I think I need to be in a relationship. There is no guarantee that I would ever be in a relationship. Right now I want a career more than anything.
That is where we are restarting from a 22-year-old single girl and her thoughts of relationships and how to be single.