Forever the Single Girl: Flowers on Valentine’s Day

I love flowers. They are something that I just have always loved to have in my life. I kill plants but cut flowers I can take care of.

Each Valentine’s Day I just see picture after picture of people receiving flowers.

So for once instead of bitching I decided to buy myself some. If you want something stop waiting around for someone else to do or buy the thing.

The same thing can be said for a ring that I bought. My ideal engagement ring is a six-claw solitaire ring with stones down the side – instead of waiting the many years until I was engaged I just decided to buy the ring myself. It isn’t a diamond but it is a ring that I love.

The same goes for the flowers. Don’t wait for someone to give you something when you can buy the item yourself. If you want flowers then buy flowers.

Final note to end on is the flowers in question, simple yet beautiful carnations the same shade as my favourite lipstick:

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Forever the Single Girl: Relationships don’t happen to everyone.

This post is going to sound like a bit of a downer but it is the truth and it is a truth that people refuse to acknowledge – especially by people who are currently in a relationship.

Here is the hard truth: there is no guarantee that you will find yourself in a relationship. It is not a certainty that you will be married, settle down, and live happily ever after with someone.

Sorry to make you hear that but it is true.

I don’t believe in true love or ‘the one’. I believe in two people who find one another and try to make their lives work together. I do not, or at least anymore, have a fairy tale fantasy about finding someone. There is no such thing as destiny and no ‘Mr or Mrs. Right’ is not around the corner.

That person does not exist.

The person who will exist will be someone who will be willing to try so we can live our lives together – be it forever or for a short time.

Nicole Arbor, if you hate her or not, said in her ‘Why Dating Is Fu*ked!!!’ video about how messed up dating is she put it as: “hey, human do you want to human with me for a bit?” Dating is fucked up – it makes no sense when you really think about it.

That is exactly it, the person you are with is not perfect, I don’t want perfect it will make me feel inadequate all the time.

Dating is not a certainty and I wish people would get that idea into their heads.

Everytime I see people who I haven’t heard from in a while the question of ‘is there anyone special?’ or ‘are you seeing someone?’ always comes up.

Friends and family always do this and I wish that they would just stop as it is a conversation killer for a start as I feel awkward giving the ‘no, I’m not seeing anyone’ response that is then followed by the third degree of why or what steps I have been taking to get out of singlehood.

I just smile and nod and count the seconds till this part of the conversation is over as there is nothing worse than asking someone who is single if they are seeing someone.

Come on haven’t you watched or read Bridget Jones! 

Those who know me, know that I am honest and blunt to the point it gets me into trouble. I hate small talk and will always want to get past the pleasantries and go to the personal as fast as possible. Especially with my close friends and family who know me best.

To friends and family reading this, just know that I would probably tell you if I was seeing someone even if it was only casual. That would be the first thing to come up in the ‘how are you?’ part of the conversation as it is probably the most abnormal, interesting thing to happen to me.

I know that the odds are that I will find someone in my life but that doesn’t have to be straight away. There is this expectation on you, especially when you are young, to date and there is a feeling that you have missed out on experiences if you don’t go out and date you have missed out on something important.

I know that being in a relationship is concidered a normal part of life. I know the odd looks I get when people find that I have never been in a relationship, or been kissed, or had sex. People look at you like they are about to catch ‘virginitus’ or like you are a freak.

(I am a bit of a freak but not for that reason.)

People treat romantic relationships so highly. Hell, look on your own group of friends. A wedding or a proposal is celebrated higher than graduating, landing your dream job or buying a house.

Independent people never get those things and we are often forgotten about as your wedding is your ‘big day’ and not when you have kicked ass to atchieve something. I know relatiosnhips take work but they are regarded higher than all others.

That is why I intend to have a ‘shit together’ party. When I have my life settled to the one that I want. I am living where I want, doing a job that I want and just geniunly happy, I will have a party to celebrate that and I will make as much fuss as people do with their weddings.

Because I may never get married, there is no guarantee, but what I can control is the rest of my life and that is something that should be celebrated.

Forever the Single Girl: Status: still single.

In moving this blog to be more lifestyle based and more about me as a person than just makeup and fashion I am going to combine one of my old blogs “Forever the Single Girl” and start to publish it here.

A lot has changed since the last post and it became very hard to continue writing on that blog because of a number of reasons. First, it didn’t feel like me anymore; maturity and becoming a 20-something rather than a teenager made my voice change. Attitude not so much but the blog no longer felt right with me.

It felt hard to post and I didn’t post anything since April 2015 and I had very large gaps in the blog when I simply couldn’t blog anymore. Part of this reason was people, who I knew personally, took it upon themselves to call me out on things being discussed in the blog. These were my ‘Christian’ friends who needed to learn that judging people is God’s job and not their own.

I had one girl invite me to coffee because she said she wanted to start her own blog and wanted tips but then it turned into her saying that my attitude towards relationships, sex and feminism is not Christian and I should change my views to be more like hers.

This was not an isolated incident. People I hadn’t spoken to in years messaged me essentially calling me a slut. A guy using the ‘we are brothers and sisters in Christ’ excuse to say that I was un-Christian in how I think about feminism and women’s rights. There were many others.

So for this reason, it became harder to post things to that blog because of what had been said to me. I have eight drafts of posts that I didn’t want to put up because I was afraid of the reproductions of what people may say about me.

So if you want to read the entire blog you can and find it here.

I am going to cherry pick the most relevant part of this blog out so I can start afresh here.

I don’t want to be afraid to write. I want to write the things that mean something to me. I don’t want people judging me for what I believe in, oh wait, that will never happen. So fuck them!

I am Vicki Evans. I have never been out on a date, or a had a relationship. I have never had sex. I have never had my love for someone reciprocated. It was only a few weeks ago that I had my first kiss, which was four days after my 22nd birthday. Status: terminally single.

I hate that there is a pressure to be in a relationship. I always have the “are you seeing someone?” question thrown at me and it is normally responded by laughing or being offended. Well, not actually offended just a defence mechanism I learnt a long time ago.

People think that I have missed out on so much by not being in a relationship or dating people but that has never been me. I have never been the girl in the relationship or who goes on dates or even falls in love. Okay, I do that last one a bit but it is unrequited so much that I just don’t bother anymore.

I know this may make me sound like a lonely sad case but, to be honest, daily it doesn’t bother me at all. I would more rather spend my time creating a life for myself than wait around for some person to show up in my life and make my life happy and filled with love.

This is something that a lot of the anti-feminists I know say to me that I need a man in my life because I need someone to take care of me. I take care of myself. I am the only one that I can 100% rely on and depend on to be there for me.

I am not going to sit around a wait for my life to begin as I think I need to be in a relationship. There is no guarantee that I would ever be in a relationship. Right now I want a career more than anything.

That is where we are restarting from a 22-year-old single girl and her thoughts of relationships and how to be single.